Now is the Winter of our Discontent

The ber months are here, and with it is the cold Siberian wind that stir some kind of anxiety and discontent in the days to come.

More than the chill that hits deep in the bone, the cold discomfort comes from our expectations of what our holidays should be and how we ought to end the year – having found that significant other, or perhaps wanting to spend a New Year in full bravado - another year, another glory.

But the more that we spend our Christmas’ with empty arms and the more we end our years with meaningless hurrahs – the more that we feel incomplete. And the more we want to change how we ought to spend next year with a little bit of a breakthrough…

So here I am, scribbling my thoughts on how to survive such discontent.

Sometime every Jan of Feb, we usually declare our good tidings for the year, hoping that it would be better. And when the ber months are ushered in, and not having achieved fifty-percent (50%) of our declared wants is often a cause of depression

One hundred twenty more days to go, and one hundred twenty more chances to make this year right…

More than anything else, I think most of the discontent comes from our own self imposed expectations - to be this and to be that by this time… And should we fail to be this and to be that by that time – we fall into depression.

This morning, they were playing the song “Pasko na Sinta ko.” For the unattached, and most specially those at 30 plus and still single – the song is a resounding reminder that having a special other defines the “Merry” in Christmas. This too is all about expectation.

Surviving discontent in the cold months is all about managing our own expectations. It was a never a fairy tale life – and could never expect someone charming hopping around with the shoe and a promise of happy ever after.

More than anything else, rather than wallowing ourselves in discontent – we can always choose our own attitude. That the operative word in the coming holidays should be either “Merry” or “Happy.”

Discontent is a state of mind. A happier mind set will make things feel better.

Saving Time for the Best Shindigs of the Year

I attended 4 parties last week and – they are all beginning to look the same. I guess going out too often is not good as it spoils all excitement and expectations – or age is beginning to catch fast on me and it's getting tiresome.

And yes, October-November-December is almost here which means more and more engagements. The best two (2) shindigs, I would say, should be Cream Halloween Ball (BigFish) – which is Club Manila's longest and most attended party, and any New Year salubong party either it be Greenbelt, Manila or Ortigas – with renewed hopes and expectations; and a resolution that the coming year we will find our peace and live a quiet and comfortable life. I have declared a no-party life in the last 5 years and yet – you can take me out of the club but you can't take the club out of my head…. (Sing it Kylie…)

I joined Fabby and friends and we watched the raucously handsome Bamboo at Arts Venue along Taft Avenue on a Thursday Night (30 August 2007). More than anything else, I am disappointed with a crowd who does not know how to appreciate great talent and whose only leisure is to busy themselves with their cameras and camera phones – wanting to have their pictures taken for Friendster. There are more clicking of phone cameras rather than clapping of hands. The gig ended around 11 pm – almost a one hour stint.

The problem with me and alcohol is that once I get a drip, I just want to continue with the gulp. So after 3 Colt 45's, we decided to continue with our boozing at Club Embassy - as the girls I am with wanted to flirt.

We arrived at Club Embassy around 12 midnight. Compared to previous days at the club, that Thursday night looked empty considering that an event - Electro Reality is happening. With mainstream music sweeping the dance floor, it looked like electronica has been left for dead. I think what mainstream dance music did was to get the best elements of electronica (Intelligent Dance Music), got somebody famous to do the vocals, repackaged it and sold the idea to the airwaves (radio) or got some famous label like Ministry of Sound. I have always thought of its underground appeal as part of the attraction.

Friday night (31 August 2007) is more chilled with Ruben Sy's despedida party at Wakwak. I saw a lot of friends that I used to party with years and years ago – seemingly with comforted faces as if having graduated from the scene. Congratulations to them!

Saturday (1 September 2007) is more tiresome, moving from one place to another in search for a good crowd. As usual, we ended up at Club Embassy again, this time to check on hats. It was the Hat Club Party (BigFish) and at that time around 4 am, there were not so many hats to be seen.

I think I overdid my going out last week. And too many beers is not good for the ulcer as well. Methinks one needs to store up energy for the bigger and more meaningful parties in the coming er months.

Back to the Groove (Madonnathon 04)

And you can dance, for inspiration...

For most of us who had trouble coming to terms with ourselves, Madonna’s music is a source of deliverance. And for most of us who have lost ourselves, the ecstatic release of dancing to her tracks has always had us found - and resolved.

Music can be such a revelation... Dancing around, you feel the sweet sensation.

That night at Club Government (25, August 2007, Saturday) was a sweet and sentimental adventure in nostalgia. Grooving to her earlier tracks like "Material Girl," "Cherished," and "Open Your Heart", was a reintroduction to the Madonna that I grew up with. Club Government hit the spot as they played on to Madonna's glorious early club hits! And of course, we have DJ Bam to congratulate for truly understanding the all-too-enthusiastic Madonna fan.

Madonna's earlier work is an expression of irreverence (“Justify My Love”), self discovery (“Like A Virgin”) and respect (“Live to Tell”). It was all about her Music – and with it is the drama, the entertainment and the redemption from our own self-inflicted decadence.

Only when I'm dancing can I feel this free...

Over the years, we have witnessed a woman whose search for self and transcendence had major impact on dance floors all over the world. During the early 80's and 90's, we had Madonna as a pop icon, whose tracks spell nothing but disco supremacy! I remember loving her Blond Ambitions Tour and chanting to songs like "Vogue", "Justify My Love" and "Express Yourself" - murmuring it to myself like some therapeutic prayer. Until she found spirituality...

For the later part of her career, her Kabbalist influence found its way to a new style of music, best rendered in her Ray of Light CD (1998) – complex, complicated and introspective. We tried to strut hits like "Frozen," "The Power of Goodbye," and "Nothing Really Matters," but it was only "Ray of Light" that found its way to the DJ's booth. The rest was an exercise of experimentation.

The Madonna that I know and love has very close ties with dance culture – nothing challenging or trancendentally entrancing. In all honesty, the Madonna that I know is all about sex and disco, and not spirituality and disco. It was all about, "Express yourself, don't repress yourself" and human nature.

I missed her for a time, and there she went – putting on a cowgirl suit and embracing me once again with Music (2000). She went back to claim her rightful place on the dance floor and renewed her faith with the beat.

Get up on your feet, yeah step to the beat... Boy what will it be...

Her latest work Confessions on a Dance Floor (2005) are exaltations of empowerment and dignity – and yes, an aphorism of pride for every gay man as well. With Hung Up, she stands her ground with the line "I'm hanging up on you," turns her back with Sorry and reinstate her sentiments with "I can take care of myself", and declares her independence with Jump with the lines "I can make it alone".

For all that time that I was at Club Government last Saturday (25 August 2007), it was a cherished walk back to a memory that reminded me of Madonna's search for self – and how we mirrored our lives with her music. And to witness a crowd move and vent out her lyrics in full unison meant the affirmation of her influence.

So that every time we lose ourselves, we ought to get a Madonna track on our CD player... And just get into the groove...

Check out my Top 5 Madonna Must have CD's at www.circuitasia.com

"Death is the Birth of Him"

Too allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself in too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything - is to succumb to violence. More than that, it is cooperation to commit disaster. And a full agreement to sabotage oneself.

Therefore, I now submit myself to silence as an act of sacrifice. For there are no battles to be won. And by the resignation of our arguments, an agreeable status quo should prevail. So that the peace of our minds will finally find a resolute end.

Some may have said that, "Death is the birth of him.". I now fully understood why. Only by resting ourselves from adversity can we gain victory. And by death, i mean to rest in peace - not for the night, not in two weeks, and not for a lifetime. But to take that breathing space to find one's inner calm and gather one's inner strength.

And as Salman Rushdie boldly reminds us, "To be born again, first you have to die."

Fierce Night, Gentle Delight (That Fierce Angel's Night @ Club Embassy)

August 20, 2007 – To tread where no man would dare risk all sanity and cross the celestial divide just to hear the avenging sound of disco…, my mind was set on going to Fierce Angels (Friday, August 17,2007).

For those of us who have had one week of bad weather like some force majeure that drove us inside our rooms with bad cable TV, we just have to break out and catch the best happening thing over the weekend. So there we went, on a furiously wet Friday - at Club Embassy.

Surprisingly, I was not alone and even more unexpectedly, a glam crowd came rushing to the doors of the Club as if it was the last sanctuary on earth to take safe refuge over last weekend's fuming typhoon.

And everyone inside the club was drenched - yet all too happy to have arrived as if ready to hear yea, groove and submit to this cathedral of sound with Big Fish' s latest dance event offering of Fierce Angels!

Blessed are those who made it for they shall delight with the seraphins of sound….

Fierce Angels is a new record label founded by Mark Doyle after he sold his previous label Hed Kandi to Ministry of Sound. And as for Eric Kupper, is a DJ / Music Producer who became famous because his mixes were widely featured in Hed Kandi compilations. For those not in the know, last Friday was not a Hed Kandi event.

That night's selection of Kandi favorites had the crowd cheering to some familiar anthems, yet having had the privilege of listening to the CD Fierce Angel (2006) and Fierce Disco (2007), DJ / Producer Eric Kupper's rendition albeit all too wonderful and quintessentially Kandi was nearly as fierce and twisted as that of Mark Doyle's selection.

And like any Fierce Angel aficionado (yes,Mark Doyle's new label) - I was waiting, hoping and praying that they would play my fave FIERCE tracks. Nothing can be more vicious and satisfying should tracks like "KEEP CONTROL (Tocadisco Remix)" by Sono and "ALL I NEED (T&F Moltosugo Club Mix)" by Moony have been given the responsorial enthusiasm from an all too eager Kandi / Angel crowd...

As I have always maintained, Eric Kupper and Mark Doyle's cutting edge music is the sophisticated choice for the mature clubber – its progressive edge being its cooing vocals that melodically chills the spine while having that thumping deep base that warms up every grooving nerve lines.

It may have been a turbulent and restless night, yet for one brief moment in time, DJ / Producer Eric Kupper have freed our spirits from what is happening out of the club and transported us into the glitzy, divine and sexy world of fiery sirens and delightful angels.